November Love
Prelude:
This is a normal routine love story of a boy who fell in love with a girl (he calls her SOMEONE!). It’s no different from others.
There isn’t much to say about this story…
She was his crush
He fell in LOVE.
It was his Life.
He was honest.
But it became a memory.
And that Memory his story.
Vamsi and Anu who are close friends from college and now colleagues in an MNC came to Mumbai for induction training along with their other new colleagues. Very first day Vamsi falls in love with SOMEONE. What happens in Mumbai in that 3 days is the story…
Part 1: My Last Crush
I know I am obsessed with colors. But I realize it only when I see a girl wearing a white dress or any color which matches her smile. That day was Tuesday and the color was Orange.
I first saw HER in the guest house; she is Anu’s roommate (How Lucky I was!). Anu casually introduced us to each other and neither of us is interested in the introduction (at least I tried…..I don’t want another disappointment in my Life!). Later, Anu told me that she is also from Andhra, I ignored that comment (or should I say that I have a crush on her and ask Anu’s help? NO, I decided – Never to get into this crush or love thing AGAIN!).
Next day we went to our office to attend our training sessions, and I saw SOMEONE with Anu.
Finally I got convinced; I have a crush on her. But this will be my last crush (I am serious, don’t laugh at me).
One thing about me is, I don’t understand my heart. Is it so weak? It falls easily for a girl wearing a white dress, especially when she is pretty and smiles often. Now, I can’t believe myself…I fell in love with her again (This time I can’t help myself….She is wearing white!). Some 100 guitars and 200 violins are playing at the same time inside my heart (I didn’t count exactly though!).
The moment I started liking her, series of disappointments followed me (which was obvious!). First one being, her training is with other batch L
When our HR asked me to introduce myself to the batch I said “Hi, I am TAPMI from Vamsi….sorry, I am Vamsi from TAPMI”. (Ok..I confess…I was busy strategizing on how to talk with her!) I waited for 100 years (read it as 30 mins) for a break and when I came out, I turned right…she is there collecting printouts. I turned left she is there typing something in laptop. I walked ahead and then I saw her again in housekeeping uniform cleaning the vase and smiling at me. Everywhere I see I see her only. Only her! When they said love is blind…I thought getting blind from each other. But for me it turned out getting blind from the world around you.
Next time I saw her, I was standing in the middle of the sidewalk near our office. It was a sunny day in November; People are hurrying past each other as if life is in fast forward mode, except her. She is walking in slow motion (or am I imagining that way!). Everyone is dull and the world around me is in black and white. When I saw her she is full of life. She is so colorful and gorgeous. Does that mean she is my life now? I can see no one except her! Does that mean she is my world now? Oh GOD what is happening to me??? (I just hope I am not suffering from color blindness or any other awful disease :P)
Part 2: My first Try
Later in the evening I was waiting for Anu in a coffee shop and was surprised to see SOMEONE along with Anu (please don’t ask me the color of the dress this time…I don’t remember anything except her smile!). My never ending search for a reason to talk with her, continued. This time both reasons and words failed me.
I wish I can be the director of my own love story and the writer of the entire script between us.
The moment is demanding a new language. A language, which only my eyes can speak and only her eyes can understand. Oh man…how easy it will be if you need not utter a word but your feelings are understood just by a sign of a sight. If only eyes can speak. If only!
After that evening without a word with SOMEONE, three of us went back to our guest house and sat outside chatting till 11pm (My part here is of an active listener). Then suddenly Anu got a call and she went away talking, leaving both of us alone (well…actually that was a part of my plan!).
Then suddenly a miracle happened, she started talking with me in Telugu. Our conversation went on till 1 am. She is so adorable and her voice so sweet; she spoke about everything about her (well…a little less than everything). In that flow I asked her if we can go for a walk (which is not a part of my initial plan!). When I asked her for a long walk….deep inside me I was wishing that she should resist, for if she accept it and walk along with me…I know even GOD can’t save me from LOVING her more than MYSELF.
Part 3: One Fine Day
When I walked beside her, for one step I felt nothing. My Mind was blank. For another step…I felt everything. My heart was heavy.
The time melted like ice in the warmth of her smile.
I saw so many beautiful places and things, but nothing matched her eyes and the way she looks at me…from the corner of her eyes with a half-smile. God! I can die for that moment. And I mean it. I wish this moment lasts forever.
And it is then that I came to know that I can fall in love with the same girl multiple times, in multiple places and in multiple ways (Don’t ask me how? – When in love, anything is possible!).
Next day I saw her in cafeteria, I smiled – She smiled. I waved my hand – She waved back.
I thought she liked me (which was a mistake- Knowingly every boy does!). Later, in the evening I texted her and then kept staring at the mobile screen for her reply. I texted her again (assuming that she missed it first time!) in the evening, but in vain. L
Next day when we came across she smiled at me, but before I can speak anything she moved on. She behaved strangely for the reasons unknown. She tried to ignore me. But may be because we are colleagues she tried to be normal, as if she doesn’t know anything.
Anu told me that SOMEONE might know that I have feelings for her (which was evident by her behavior!) and she asked me why I love her. I said ‘I don’t know’. Honestly I didn’t have any answer. All I know is I love her. I love her more than I know how much I love her. I love more than she can imagine.
On our final day she was bidding bye to Anu and after that came near me and said that she enjoyed my company and asked me to keep in touch. She is being unfair with me for being so sweet, when I know she doesn’t have any special feelings for me. << My love for her is like November rains, when you start enjoying the most – it stops! >>
Nevertheless, I decided to take my chance (If not now – then when?). I asked her if I can call her after this training. She looked down and tried to say something else. When I asked whether she likes me or not? She replied ‘After this training we should go on our separate ways, but we will remain good FRIENDS’ (Which means NO!). She came one step forward to hug me. I moved one step away from my dream.
She is my dream girl. I thought she never exists. If existed, I thought I can never come across her. Fortunately I found her. Unfortunately she will not be mine.
She said goodbye. I didn’t bid goodbye….I chose something easier: to wait, to wait for some miracle to happen again.
She came as a rising sun into my heart and left as a setting sun. I lived a LIFE between the dawn and the dusk. She left me, leading the rest of my life in to the darkness of the night. And her memory is the moon I can cherish in that darkness. I have a day to be forgotten and the rest of the story to be left unsaid.