Smile is not in its place, tears are well hidden, voice is muted and my eyes have a story to tell…..
I was in city central mall along with my friends to promote our college event. I saw HER there (you are right…it’s love at first sight, though it’s not the first love!).
2.30pm: Oh God… She is so beautiful…is she specially crafted for me?
2.31pm: When I first saw her, I thought it is worth dying for her.
2.32pm: Then I realised I can’t die, as I already lost myself in her love.
Wait a minute….I heard these dialogues before. Is this the same story? No I thought it can be a different one (Optimist view). Then my inner voice whispered, “Stop telling yourself that this is different. You’ve lived this story before and you know how it ends.” <<refer: Crushes and crashes to know how it ends!>>
True…expectations ruin your happiness, especially when it is with love. But if you expect nothing you may be left with nothing. So I dared to proceed with my insane dumb idea of winning a girl’s heart – again (try until you succeed – my mantra!).
As she was waiting for someone, I took the college pamphlet (reason to talk!) and approached her. I want to look at her eyes but I can’t, because she is already staring at me! And I guess I realized at that moment that I really did love her. Because there was nothing to gain rather my time and heart to lose, and that didn’t matter.
God let her know that she is my world. Just let her know that there is a man dying for her love just across the space before her. Her half smile told me that she also loves me (again an optimist view). We didn’t talk about anything heavy or light. We were just there together. And that was enough. Just two of us… and I want break the barrier in between!!
I can think only about her…and I can’t think anything else just because of her. And before I can think anything further she started walking away with her friend.
I can’t believe that this story ended before our introduction to each other (worse than other stories). This moment will just be another story someday. I thought this is different story…and yes, it was different story but with the same ending – betrayed by love, tears as companion and silence as compulsion.
My inner voice already told me “You can’t be betrayed when you are not in LOVE”, but alas…. I ignored that fact to console my heart now. (Walk the path of letting go – my NEW mantra!<<until I find the next suitable girl>>)