He was helpless and so I am
Relax, spare some time and breathe easy. I want to tell you something, something about one of my LIFE’S journeys. This journey in the bus was hardly for 5 hrs. But after 425 days, I am still travelling in the same bus.
29 March 2009. Sunday morning. Hyderabad. I boarded the bus to Nizamabad, to attend a service call (Life at GE!!!). When we were about to cross the city border, our bus halted. After some unusual conversations at the rare end of the bus, a couple walked out of the bus. It was the gentleman, who stole my attention.
I guess you could call him an old man (for his grey hair and wrinkles on the skin …maybe above 60). His build is that of a teacher (for no particular reasons….except for my impression on him). His eyes were sharp, as if searching for something he can never find. And his weight was resting on one leg.
Coming to the reason to expel from the bus: They have no money to buy tickets. All the money they were carrying was robbed (huge sum, I suppose). May be they were going to meet their children or relatives, but now they are standing alone, empty handed at a deserted place. She was crying and cursing the thief (that was a common scenario!). But that old man was standing like a statue, except for his shivering walking stick. He didn’t utter a word. Life full of tears were holding in his eyes resisting themselves to come out (May be they liked him so much to leave him or hated the world outside to that extent). I understood that the money he lost was his earnest earning. That’s when I saw straight in to his eyes (later, I regretted doing that thing!!!).
I am sure his eyes were not looking at what they were directed to. His eyes were reflecting some strange kind of feeling (about which I can’t express in proper words) which later transformed into a different kind of pain in my soul, which I had never experienced before.
He was old. He was crippled. He was alone with his wife. He was helpless. I heard something in me whispering, “Go help that helpless soul”. I peeped out of the window. My lips moved. But my, “May I help you grandpa”, was inaudible. I had a choice and I choose to leave him alone. I had an excuse for that, I was on an emergency service call and I have to rush to the hospital to fix a lifesaving lifeless machine. He was helpless and so I am. It needs courage to do what you think is right. And I thought I had enough of it….till that moment.
My bus was moving and so my thoughts, faster than the bus of course. I want to help him but I can’t. I was looking at him from the corner of my eyes. I didn’t dare to see his eyes straight again. I was watching him till he was out of my sight. But he was never out of my mind.
I prayed GOD (which I seldom do) that “If you are there, please assist them till they reach their destination”. Though I’m sure they are safe somewhere by now, still I was feeling bitter and restless. I was restless not because of the questions, “What if GOD is not there?” or “What if HE didn’t help them?” It is because of the question “Why didn’t I do it myself?”